Twas The Night Before Christmas and YOUR Diet.

Twas the night before Christmas and no more food I would need,
My belly was so full I could hardly breathe!
From buttered baked goods to sugary sweets and salted nuts,
My waist line had reached an enormous girth,
What will I do?
My middle is bigger than when I gave birth!
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The Night Before Christmas and Your Diet!

Twas the night before Christmas and no more food I would need,
My belly was so full I could hardly breathe!

From buttered baked goods to sugary sweets and salted nuts,
My waist line had reached an enormous girth,
What will I do?
My middle is bigger than when I gave birth!

Just one more week till the New Year,
I’ll put off my new diet a little longer, I think I deserve a treat,
Besides my hubby just told me “You’re beautiful Dear!”
I’m not about to miss out on all the holiday food to eat.

I’ll get up and run, count calories till I’m blue,
It won’t be fun but I’ll look awesome when I’m through!
I’m sure I’ll be hungry, my stomach might even growl,
I’ll bite my tongue if I have to, I won’t even scowl.

I’m scared I might screw up. No, I think I’ll be fine,
If I mess up I’ll blame the kids and have a glass of wine!
Early morning cardio, I won’t eat till noon,
Double up on the fat burners and follow the same workout routine until June!

Of course I’ll still eat my weekly ice cream treat,
Might swipe a handful of candy from my co-workers desk,
It’s ok if I add an extra spinning class,
I know what’s best!

If I don’t drop fifteen pounds I’ll be shocked,
Even though it never worked before I know it will this time,
I’ll just try harder,
The first month I’ll probably lose a dime!

I’ll start off with a bang and won’t ever stop,
I’ll hit my goal by May,
Protein powder three times a day with splenda on top,
Yogurt for lunch and carbs just once per day!

Oh contraire young grasshopper, truth be told,
You won’t last a day once that routine unfolds.
A sucker for punishment a glutton for abuse,
Why don’t you learn from your past?
With a diet like that your belt will never be loose!

Listen up Twinkle Toes, how much longer until you learn?
You’re down to your last resort,
How much more fruitless effort are you willing to burn?
It’s only a matter of time until your mission abort,
I’ve pointed the way many times before,
You say you heard me but did you listen?

Same song different verse, but you missed again,
I’ll repeat it one last time but I’m sure you will just ignore,
Another plate of powdered sugar covered pecan balls,
and your love handles are going to touch the floor.

 

       

Before & After

 








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