The Search Party: All You Need Is Right Here

Your blunt coach has already taught you that the famous Figure “gurus” aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. But where do you go for a program that’s worth your time and effort? Wet Wolf’s got your answers.

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ou know what? I have to admit that unlike most guys I don’t pop a hard-on over every exotic sports car that drives by.

That all changed about three years ago, when one of my clients rolled up in a Ferrari 360 Modena Spyder; the glossy shine of the candy apple red paint job, the fully exposed engine under the sheet of glass, and the personalized name plate on the dash were pretty cool.

Not bad, I thought, but it’s still just a car.

That was until earlier this year when one of my clients rolled up in this bad boy.

He told me about how when he’d take the car to the dealership to get serviced it’d have hoards of people scurrying up to it like a piece of bacon in an ant bed.

Oh, how I had to have one for myself. I hustled over to the dealership and told them to order me one up in a hurry.

I also was sure to let the sales manager know that I was on a tight budget.

I was soon shocked to learn that my future car was going to cost more than my five-year-old SUV. My face must have resembled that of a lobotomy patient when the sales manager broke the news to me that the pre-order deposit was going to be nearly my yearly income.

Angry and heartbroken, I stormed out of the dealership.

It dawned on me that if I wanted to be cruising down the A1A in an R8, I was going to have to triple my annual income. Either that or hold up a stage coach.

Since the release of my last article, The Watch Dog Report: Industry Trainers, I’ve been bombed with fresh, young newbies antsy for a spankin’ new R8.

Only, it’s not really an R8 they want. It’s a customized, personalized program tailored to their every want and need.

And did I mention they’re on a budget tighter than that girdle their heavy cousin Margaret tried to squeeze into for her antebellum-style ball?

“Oh, Wet Wolf, I really am interested in working with you! I was a victim of the one-size-fits-all diet and want something that’s personalized just for me. I’m on a budget, though.”

News flash: The reason you got the exact same diet as five hundred other girls is because you only paid sixty bucks, which was still too high for that disaster you received, but you see my point.

There’s an old saying, “You get what you pay for.” Ever heard that one before?

When someone sends out a cookie-cutter diet, they simply slop the thing together and hit “send.” The time it takes to tend to each new client is the time it takes to key in their name in the attachment before firing it off. That’s it.

They do this so they can charge a fee that’s high enough to make you think that you’re getting something special, but not so much that it’s going to keep you away from your Jimmy Choo’s.

You get the best of both worlds: a hot-ticket Figure trainer and a style that can still rock it out at the after party.

“Well, Wet Wolf, if I can’t afford a personalized program, what do you suggest I do?”

For starters, you can read every single article I’ve written for Figure Athlete. That, in and of itself, will give you more industry knowledge than 99% of the “gurus” at your local gym.

I remember back in 2001 when I didn’t know the first thing about contest prep. I toiled away with endless running and scary low-carb diets.

In 2004, I had most of the diet thing down, but didn’t know a nickel about training someone with imbalances or low back injuries.

In 2007, I was okaywith regeneration and restoration, but I wasn’t exactly sure the best way to train a prepubescent athlete for speed.

I sit here today pretty confident in many areas of training, but I still have some things I want to learn more about.

In this country, information doubles every six months. And you better believe it, too. With a galaxy of information at your finger tips thanks to the internet, it’s just there for the taking.

So, how did I do it? How did I learn more? I read articles and gathered information on Testosterone Muscle and a few other reputable websites. I also talked to the local guru, who often led me down the incorrect path; it wasn’t fun, but it was a learning process.

I got better, and most importantly, I learned from my mistakes.

Like the school of hard knocks, I learned what worked and what didn’t. And when it didn’t work, it was no fun, so I found a better way.

In my eighth grade Earth Science class, the first chapter in the text was on basic problem solving. It taught you the steps to solve a problem and come up with a possible solution. Believe me; I’m sure the ladies who frequent Figure Athlete are a lot brighter than the other jocks and I that passed the class who were only interested in the cheerleading squad and our next pair of Air Jordan’s.

All it takes is a little bit of time. Alwyn Cosgrove once wrote that you can become an expert in something if you read an hour a day for a year on the subject. Just think; if you read thirty minutes, five days a week for the next sixty days, you might not be an expert, but I bet you’d be able to conjure up a pretty solid program for yourself.

Sure, you might have a few road bumps along the journey, but there’s nothing wrong with that. It only makes you value your success more in the end.

The most frustrating thing of all is that a lot of girls don’t bother to do this. They’d rather pay for a joke of a program from an online guru than actually open up an article on Figure Athlete and follow the program-rich advice — for free!

Young women are funny birds. They want everything for free, but won’t follow it unless they pay for it. Go figure, Figure.

I can’t make it any easier for you gals. The articles I’ve written confront the issues that Figure Athlete faces in all aspects of the game and how to overcome them.

If you read my articles, you’ll have the raw materials to build your own diet and follow through with an already presented weight training routine and energy systems protocol.

“I don’t like your diet, and your workouts are too confusing!”

That’s fine, too. There are a lot of other good authors on Figure Athlete who have quality stuff published as well.

I know it’s no fun to read, but self-education is crucial for the uninitiated. It’s not like I’m asking for a boatload of critical thinking on your behalf. All you have to do is read, comprehend, and follow. Pretty simple, huh?

And, unlike the doughfor the customized program, you don’t have to ask your hubby’s permission.

Speaking of which, maybe I should ask my dad to buy me the car.

About the Author

Wet Wolf specializes in physique transformation, contest prep, eating patterns, and sports performance training for clients in real life and online.


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