Never Take Advice From a Bikini Competitor

When ever an impressionable youngling or soccer mom boasts about wanting to do a bikini competition, to their shock and awe I advise them to do the opposite of what bikini competitors do.

“Huh, why?”

All it takes is one glance at their Instagram pages to see their blue-print.

Bikini girls slurp up coffee all day every day, you drink water
Bikini girls eat bars, you pack your meals.
Bikini girls do hours and hours of gym work, you do 3 hours a week
Bikini girls rely on thermo pills & energy drinks to make it through their training sessions, you depend on smart nutrition for fuel.

And while you’re at it you can lump in  bodybuilders, figure, fitness & physique competitors too. What makes bikini competitors especially so bad is that they’ve “glamorized” the whole division and many young naive girls who have been sidelined & marginalized in life use it as a tool to create an identity for themselves.

And of course the coolness factor is a big draw too.

Let's take a peek at the seedy underbelly of bikini competitions

Let’s take a peek at the seedy underbelly of bikini competitions

Bikini Competitions, Judges & Steroids

It’s very appealing to co-ed’s all the way up to thirty-something housewives & soccer moms looking for validation and attention. After all what woman doesn’t want to look hot in a bikini?
Here’s a recent conversation I had with a newbie in the game.

“I was very recently introduced to the fitness industry and immediately fell in love with every part of it. I’m the healthiest and most energetic I’ve ever been in my life. I recently did my first bikini show and placed first in my class, and first overall. It was such a fulfilling experience for me and I’m excited for this new journey!”

I wasn’t about to sit idly by and let this newbie aimlessly wander down a road to her demise. If I didn’t set her straight I’d be doing her a disservice.

Sure they’re parts of the industry that are fun and some folks might love but it’s the “every part” of it I don’t get? Don’t dare tell me for a minute you loved your tilapia & asparagus every meal or the 2 hours per day on the treadmill. What about those nasty jail – break binges that left you curled up in the fetal position on your bathroom floor because you just couldn’t take those late night hunger pangs any longer.
How a bout that severe rebound you got after your post-show Cheesecake Factory meal followed by the ice-cream binge you went on the next day which had you tipping the scales at a whopping 11 lbs over your stage weight, did you love every part of it then??

What was healthy about that?

Oh and what about the deceitful trainers & judges who have back-door deals with the promoters who are all looking to victimize you. They’ll all tell you the same thing “You have to pay your dues!”
Oh you’ll have to pay you dues all-right but I’m not talking about entry fees. Well, there will be entry and there will be fees but let’s just say they won’t involve money. Oh let me guess, You’ll still love every part of it then.

You still think you’re the healthiest & most energetic you’ve been been in your life? Wait till the steroid abuse starts. And yes, when a vile judge and your filthy trainer tell you that you need them to compete at the national level, you’ll be begging for them. Then just wait until your hair starts falling out. Will you still be the healthiest you’ve ever been in your life then? Oh brother.

And what do you mean by such a “fulfilling experience”? Okay, sure, I get the whole accomplishment thing, transforming your physique, competitive attitude, I got that.
What if you hadn’t won 1st place (out of 4 girls), would it still be such a fulfilling experience then?
Do you really need an esteemed panel of schmoes, high school dropouts, steroid dealers & con men (and women) to tally up enough votes for you to feel fulfilled? Do you have daddy issues? Do you seek approval from men? Apparently so.

She looked at me with a face that resembled a lobotomy patient as I turned and walked away leaving her frozen in stunned silence!

Now here’s where the problem starts.
You get the 1/10,000 chick who’s never touched a weight in her life but like a diamond in the rough is able to transform into a polished gem after a couple years she has a bad-ass body to showcase.

Or you get the girl who has a solid foundation from participating in competitive athletics since pee-wee league and when she finally starts weight training & cuts out the fast food consistently it’s like throwing gasoline on an open flame. And just like that she undergoes a freaky metamorphosis in a matter of months.

So you end up with a 24, 21 or in some cases a 19 y/o chick who is 10 years ahead of schedule just because she won the gene pool lottery and was able to pull off a profound transformation at a blistering pace despite having the exercise IQ of a doornail.

Now the ones at the very top of the food chain won’t need any extra assistance to pull this off but for the good-but-not-great crowd, you’re going to need vitamin-S to get the masses of fans to take the bait.

I’ve seen gifted girls do exceptionally well early on a couple years into the game then hit a stubborn plateau as soon as their body pumps the breaks as it approaches it’s genetic ceiling. No longer do they get the desired affects from their 2 hour body part splits followed by endless cardio, so they resort to their only other logical option.

Then 8 weeks later show up at a show looking like they just blocked their myostatin gene.

A cow deficient in the myostatin gene. Blocking this gene can unleash explosive muscle growth.

A cow deficient in the myostatin gene. Blocking this gene can unleash explosive muscle growth.

I knew a chick who wanted to crossover from figure to woman’s physique back in 2013. In the off-season she looked like a thick girl who didn’t even lift and on the stage she could barely squeeze out a 6 pack after water depleting. When I asked her what her strategy for her next show was she said, “I’m going to add muscle, get fuller and come in harder!”

Based off her marginal genetic potential, woefully lacking workout routines frequent cheat meals combined with the fact that she just signed up with an east coast “coach” who just like the late 70’s crime drama series Charlie’s Angels, has his own legion of angels who he is well known for dishing out cycle instructions to. Knowing this it took me all of 1.2 seconds to connect the dots as to what her next route would be.

Fast forward 3 months later and she had packed on 7 lbs of muscle and was far and away her leanest ever. Barely able to squeeze out a 6 pack at her previous show, now she had an 8 pack carved out of granite.
And just for good measure she posted her selfie on every milk carton and billboard from here to Tokyo.
To the uninitiated she had pulled off quite the scam.
And what did she credit her instant success to you ask?
If you guessed her secret nutrition & training tactics then you win a blister pack of anavar; the generic version of course.

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 Bikini Competitor Workout Plan: Don’t Take The Bait!

This is not an isolated event. This happens all across the competition landscape. The naive populous of wanna-be bikini babes will salivate at the spectacle of butt and abs selfies one of these quasi-celebs plasters all over her Instagram and fb page.

“So what the problem with that?”

Because now she’s dishing out her hogwash workout & diet advice to her raw but ready victims and using her newly minted muscle as validation. You know the type. Those impressionable foppish fitness fanatics who think placing in a bikini show will surely lead to fame & fortune with the sudden landslide of modeling contracts and supplement endorsements that will soon follow shortly after hoisting their $12 plastic trophy above their head.

In some cases I’ve seen these 20-something bikini chicks have 10k, 100k or even up to 1mm followers on InstaGram. And unfortunately the multitude of loyal fan girls who are mesmerized by her every video or selfie she posts aren’t as astute to the fitness game as they should be.

Show me a 20-something wannabe bikini chick and I’ll show you someone who has the muscle building knowledge of a mushroom.
And of course they take everything their idols spew as gospel.

“You’re just a hater! She’s motivating millions of girls!”

Motivating or misleading?

Because motivation with out direction is worthless.

Don't be misled by foppish training routines that are ineffective and lead to injury

Don’t be misled by foppish training routines that are ineffective and lead to injury

I got news for ya junior.

The reason your fitness idol looks the way she does isn’t because she’s privy to some esoteric pursuit that the rest of you plebes haven’t unlocked yet. The reason she looks like she does is because she won the genetic jackpot and likely takes drugs. It has nothing to do with her work ethic, in fact her over-extreme workouts are probably costing her precious muscle building in the long run.

“How do you know what they do you judgmental prick?

Because they post it on their fb & IG pages.

“Today’s workout:

-Single leg press 10×4
-Hamstring curls 15, 10×3, last set drop set

Triset:
-Smith Glute hip thrust 10×4
-Elevated sumo squat 12×4
-Pop squats 10×4

Superset:
-Smith split squats 10×3
-Single leg deadlift 12×3

Superset:
-Squats 8×4
-Step ups with knee raise 10×4

Superset:
-RDLs 10×2, 8×2
-Box jumps 10×4

Superset:
-Cable kickback 15×3
-Cable side kicks 10×3
Triset:
-️Hanging leg raises 10×4
-Cable crunches 20×4
-Mountain climbers 20×4
1hr 15min long!”

Now here’s the scary part.

Instead of reading comments like “Wow that’s insane!” I read this: “And you don’t do any HIIT?” as if this overly ambitious onlooker was actually disappointed there wasn’t more calorie burning cardio involved.

Another boasted “I’ll do that too one day!”, her chief aim wasn’t to burn off 10 lbs of pesky body fat or build rock solid muscle, it was to make it through a brutal overkill gym session- just so she could emulate her idol.

Not even this insane onslaught of exercise could set off a warning light for for these young stalwarts!

If you followed my KISS program, you would be able to slash your gym time by 75% and end up with more muscle by cutting out that frivolous gym time.

The next question someone would have to ask is why such fervor for marathon gym sessions?

I’ll tell you why.

In the feeble mind of a fitness fanatic they believe that when it comes to exercise, oh and protein, more is always better. And if a thirty-minute training session is good then their mind automatically concludes that a two hour gym session is better. But if you really want to push the boundaries of awesomeness than a four hour slug fest with the weights is mandatory!

“Okay, you’re just being delusional now! No one is dumb enough to do a 4 hour gym session!”

Wanna bet?

Never mimic the workout routines of a bikini or figure competitor.

Never mimic the workout routines of a bikini or figure competitor.

Some of you folks probably aren’t going to believe me when I say this but what you actually do in the gym is more important than the length of time you spend there.

“Everyone knows that the harder you work in the gym the better your results!”

Unfortunately there is a difference between working harder and working smarter. Newbies have a difficult time distinguishing between the two. Never confuse the duration with effectiveness. Super-set after grueling drop-set they pummel their muscles into submission. Not on a full body routine mind you, or even half the body but a single muscle group they will beat into oblivion. Only then is leaving the gym permissible.

Don’t believe me?
Take a look at this delt demolition some clueless bikini broad posted up.

“-Lateral raises 10×4
-One arm reverse fly 12×4
-Arm circles 15×4
-Around the world shoulder raise 12×4

Superset:
-Barbell front raise 10×4
-DB press 10×4

Superset:
-Arnold press 10×4
-Seated lat raise 10×4

Superset:
-MTS Shoulder press 8×4
-Bent arm raise 10×4

Superset:
-Front cable raise 10×3
-Side cable raise 10×3

Triset:
-One arm internal rotation 12×4
-Front raise and side raise (in video) 10×4
-Incline shoulder press 10×4
This is how Team (supplement company name deleted) does it. High volume style taking High Volume to the extreme!

Now what do you think her followers are going to do when they read that shit storm?
I’ll tell you what, they’re going to think that if they can pull off the same routine that she did that they’ll have a body like her’s to match.

That’s the way their thought process operates.
A HUGE mistake many women make is believing that just b/c it works for a hot fit, chick it will work for her.

Newsflash: You’re not her!

They’re like lambs being led to the slaughterhouse by their own messiah; who isn’t even old enough to buy booze yet.

“Not so fast! If you know anything about building muscle you’d know that this is the type of intensity you have to train with to be a champion!”

Sorry but there’s nothing intense at all about that routine. Science defines intensity as the amount of weight lifted. So if you’re executing a 1 rep max then you’re performing at 100% intensity. So by default the higher your reps & sets climb the lower your intensity is going to drop. Ya dig?

Where to Find the Worst Bikini Workout Plans in the World

The next question that must be popping into your head is where in the world do they get these abortion like exercise programs from?
You see, the obligatory go-to diet and exercise treasure trove these little know-it-all’s get their brilliant nuggets of training advice can come from three different outlets.

First and foremost are other females already in the game. This little feline is going to take everything she ever read on any big name girlie fitness page as gospel. And why shouldn’t she? After all we all know that if a site has enough fitness babe pin ups showcasing the most trendy workout attire it’s gotta be legit.

Second place she she’s going to learn from is her meat head lover. I’ve always said if there’s one quick way to corrupt a newbie it’s to get involved in the fitness game at an early age. Because shortly thereafter she’ll find herself in the cross hairs of a juice head who wants to move in with her and of course put her on cycle too.

“I want my daughter to date a juice head!”
– Said no parent ever.

The third place they’re going to get their cornucopia of wisdom from is their “coach” or trainer. The cookie cutter programs and assembly line diets they copy & paste to send their teams of girls are then pawned off by the team members straight to their raw but ready victims.
Now what do you think will happen when an endomorph or emotional eater with a body image disorder tries to follow that type of program? I’ll tell you what will happen.

Nothing.
At least nothing good.

Sure, the top 3% will make some progress initially but this is only because of their paltry starting conditioning levels.

“Stop judging everything they do! Anyone who looks as good as her clearly knows what she’s doing!”

And this clearly leads us to Fat Loss Life Principle #11

Never judge a book by it's cover or a bikini competitor by her body.

Never judge a book by it’s cover or a bikini competitor by her body.

Don’t Judge a Book by It’s Cover or  Bikini Competitor by Her Body

Just because you’re good at training yourself doesn’t mean you’re good at training others.
Well, not that you’re really good at training yourself, but at least you look like you are.
The the reason this can be deceiving in the fitness game and also in other areas of life, is that it’s a challenge to make the shift from the passenger seat to the driver seat.
In other words, leading others who don’t have your confidence or genetic response levels can be a very daunting task. Of course you want to practice what you preach and should be a good steward of your body but you’re not doing either with the marathon lifting and cardio sessions you do after pounding enough caffeine to disqualify the entire US Olympic track team. And I haven’t tackled your eating yet.

“All you’ve done is judge the way these hard working devout girls train! You should NEVER judge anyone!

I’m glad you brought that up, because that brings me to my next point that maybe you can help me explain.

These youngsters don’t want to be judged on anything they do or eat but yet have no problem standing on stage in a teeny weeny bikini having their ass & tits judged by an unscrupulous panel of schmoes, shysters, drug dealers, felons, con men & women. Only under the “circus tent” of bikini competitions can you even begin to make heads or tails of this.

And what’s with every newbie trying to pawn off their advice as being expertise? Hell not even the cream of the crop in any other sport (not that bikini competitions are a sport- but bare with me) outside of a charity event, will you ever see Lebron James or Drew Breese actually coaching others.

You can use them for motivation to get to the gym or to pack all your meals but please, never ever take training or nutritional advice from a bikini competitor or the like.

Your physical, mental and emotional health depends on it.

Because in the end, I’m looking out for you.

       

Before & After

 








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